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The following is the return Mrs. Elizabeth Hamilton of Russel street, Bath, author of the well-written movel, entitled, Modern Philosophers, recently made to the assessor of Walcot, of male servants, horses, mules, carriages, dogs, &c. Not a male in our house, Not so much as a mouse, Nor a horse nor a dog, as true written; For search house and ground, Not a beast could be found, But a hungry old cat and her kitten.

A few days since, a noble naval commander, at one of our sea-ports, who is a strict discipliarian, accosted a drunken sailor in the street, with. What ship do you belong to? Jack, who was a dry fellow, (notwithstanding he was drunk) and had a very eccentric countenance, answered, with much sans froid, Don't know; what's your captain's name?--Don't know. Do you know who I am?--No.--Why, I am the commander in chief. Then, replied the fellow, in a manner which raised the good temper of the worthy baronet a loud laugh, You have a dd good birth of it, that's all I know!

A person who was offended with his neighbour because he had driven away his cat from a pigeon-house was reproved by the other for his want of consideration. Because, observed he, It is beyond no doubt but your cat would eat my pigeons, but there is very little fear of my pigeons eating your cat.

A notorious swindling fellow who has for some