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24 'They may be so,' replied the witness, for they were both lawyers!'

The Witty Doctor.—Come, Doctor, said a noted scoffer to the Evangelical minister of the Tolbooth Church, 'I can give you a treat-a bottle of claret forty years old.' The Doctor was in raptures, and eagerly accepted the invitation, when; to his dismay, the accepted quart proved only to be a pint bottle. 'Waes me,' said he, taking it up in his hand, 'but it's unco wee of its age!'

A Genuine Irish Bull.—The porter of a Dublin grocer was brought up by his master on a charge of stealing chocolate, which he could not deny. Upon being asked to whom he sold it, the pride of Patrick was greatly wounded. 'To whom did I sell it!' says Pat; 'why does he think I took it to sell?' 'Then, Sir,' said the magistrate, 'what did you do with it?' 'Do with it!' rejoined the culprit, extremely offended with his worship for persisting in his insulting suspicions; 'since you must know,' said he, 'we made tea of it!'

A Visible Sign.—At a Sunday school examination a few days ago, a little girl being asked by her catechiser, 'What is the outward visible sign or form in baptism?' innocently replied, 'Please, Sir, the baby.'

St Giles' Justice.—'What are you beating that boy for?' said a gentleman to a young denizen of the rookery in St Giles': 'you are too big for him. What hase he done?' 'Vy, he dropped his knife: I picked it up; and now he wants me to give it him back again; and 'Cos I von't, he's sarcy.'