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 A FEW PASSAGES

THE DULL MAN'S COMPANION.

Next to Nothing.— 'What's a o'clock, Pat?' inquired a traveller. "Next to nothing,' answered the Milesian, with great confidence. 'What do you mean?' asked the traveller. 'Not quite one,' replied Pat, 'and follows in coorse that what isn't one is next to nothing.'

A Manikin's Retort.—A very little and a very tall gentleman being one day engaged in an argument, the tall one lost his temper, and threatened to put his opponent into his pocket. ' In that case you would have more sense in your pocket than ever you had in your head,' was the little gentleman's sarcastic reply.

Ingenious Substitution.—A compositor on the Derby Mercury acquired the name of Big Murphy during his life, from a blunder he committed, which escaped correction. Being incorrigibly addicted, where he did not well know the meaning of a hard word, to substitute one which he did know, that came nearest it in appearance— in composing an article which named a projected meeting of the great potentates of the continent, he announced 'an assemblage of all the Great Potatoes of Europe!'

Not a Bad One.—I am afraid,' said a lady to her husband, 'that I am going to have a stiff neck'.—'Not at all improbable, my dear,' replied her spouse; 'I have seen strong symptoms of it ever since we were married.'

The Peril of Praise.—' What an admirable