Page:NARA Style Guide.pdf/14

 ::: Better: Regrettably, our resources do not include information that will help you locate an individual.
 * When you are writing about a person or a group, use he, she, or they.

1.5 Omit unnecessary words.
 * Dense, wordy construction is one of the biggest problems in government writing. Nothing is more confusing or frustrating to the reader than long, complex sentences full of words that are doing no useful work.
 * To address the problem, become a tougher critic of your own writing. Consider whether you need every word.
 * Would you rather read this:
 * This letter concerns your request under the Freedom of Information Act. We received your request on 13 February 2000. We then sent it to the Agency for Regulatory Policy. Unfortunately, the Agency cannot process your request without more information. We need you to reasonably describe the records you are seeking. Specifically, we need to know what records you need.
 * Or this:
 * Unfortunately, the Agency for Regulatory Policy dealing with your Freedom of Information Act request cannot reply to you until it knows specifically what records you need.
 * (examples from the Plain Language Action and Information Network)


 * 1.5.1 Write with a word, not with a phrase.
 * Don't use a phrase if a single word will do the job.


 * Be especially watchful for phrases using the fact that. Often, the simple word because can stand in place of many words.

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