Page:My Life in Two Hemispheres, volume 2.djvu/25

 hopes at home by promising impossibilities, nor could I lay down the cause for any consideration. I was the last of a party deeply pledged to nationality, and I could not lay it aside without dishonour. From other old friends advice as contradictory came.

"You must rebaptize the cause in the old Holy Wells," said Meagher, meaning that we must be more distinctly Catholic for the future. "You advised that two priests should be put on the War Directory," said a Protestant Nationalist. "Had they succeeded in seizing the country what would have become of us?"

I brought these conflicting opinions to one test—my conviction of what was best for the cause. I have committed grave mistakes as an Irish publicist, often created angry enemies, sometimes offended genial friends, but from the beginning to the end of my career I have no one to blame but myself, as I uniformly followed my own judgment.

As soon as the languor of a long imprisonment was mitigated I summoned a private conference of the most experienced Nationalists left in Dublin, who still made a very impressive show. They unanimously advised the revival of the Nation, and the re-establishment after a time of political agitation, citing O'Connell's saying that agitation was the lowest price Ireland paid for a little liberty. I told them that the protection of the farmers who were flying daily before the Exterminator seemed to me the most urgent business. For nationality we could do little just now, except keep alive its traditions; the ghastly clamour of unreal threats and promises which came to nothing was odious to me. I should never spend another hour in Irish affairs indeed except with the hope and determination to regain our national existence. But this was only to be done by working out patiently a large design, month by month, year by year; Ireland lay in ruins and needed to be rebuilt, beginning with the foundations and gradually piling work above like granite upon granite.

This was the policy of the revived Nation. To say that the country could be delivered then and there needed a besotted intellect or a brazen front. In an hour of profound darkness I set before the people what they discovered in the