Page:My Life and Loves.djvu/368

324 At this moment Dr. Richards came in: "Now how, how in Goodness' name, man, after our talk and all, how did ye come to take it?" His fussiness and strong Welsh accent made me laugh: "give me the stomach pump, doctor, for I'm full of liquid to the gullet", I cried. I took the tube and pushed it down, sitting up in bed, and he depressed it; but only a brownish stream came: I had absorbed most of the belladonna. That was nearly my last conscious thought, only in myself I determined to keep thinking as long as I could. I heard the Doctor say: "I'll give him opium—a large dose", and I smiled to myself at the thought that the narcotic opium and the stimulant belladonna would alike induce unconsciousness, the one by exciting the heart's action, the other by slackening it. . ..

Many hours afterwards I awoke: it was night, candles were burning and Dr. Richards was leaning over me: "do you know me?" he asked and at once I answered: "Of course I know you, Richards", and I went on jubilant to say: "I'm saved: I've won through. Had I been going to die, I should never have recovered consciousness." To my astonishment his brow wrinkled and he said, "drink this and then go to sleep again quietly: it's all right", and he held a glass of whitish liquid to my lips. I drained the glass and said joyously: "Milk! how funny you should give me milk; that's not prescribed in any of your books." He told me afterwards it was Castor-oil he had given me and I had mistaken it for milk. I somehow felt that my tongue was running away with me even before he laid his hand on my forehead to quiet me saying: "There please! don't talk, rest! please!" and I pretended to obey him; but couldn't make out why he shut me up? I could not recall my words either—why?

A dreadful thought shook me suddenly: had I