Page:MySecretLifeVol1(1888).djvu/90

MY SECRET LIFE the servant amusing themselves too freely, had had them dismissed, and that the morning I found my fingers sticky, the girl had just come in from fucking in the gardener’s shed.

With all the opportunities I had, both with big Betsy and with this woman, I was still virgin.

When I saw Fred next, he told me he had felt the cunt of one of their servants. I told him partly what I had done, but kept to myself how I had failed to poke when I had the opportunity, fearing his jeers; and as I was obliged to name some woman, mentioned one of my godfather’s servants. He went there to try his chances of groping her as well, but got his head slapped. We talked much about the smell of cunt, and he told me that one day after he had felt their servant, he went into the room where his sisters were, and said, “oh what a funny smell there is on my fingers, what can it be, smell them.” Two of his sisters smelt, said they could not tell what it was, but it was not nice. Fred used to say, that he thought they knew it was like the smell of a cunt, because they colored up so.

I had noticed a strong smell on my prick, whenever the curdy exudation had to be washed out. Fred’s talk made me imitative, so I saturated my ﬁngers with the masculine essence one evening, and going to my female cousin, “oh what a queer smell there is on my fingers,” said I, “smell them.” The girl did. “It’s nasty, you’ve got it from your chemicals,” said she. “I don’t think I have, smell them again, I can’t think what it can be, what’s it like?” “I don’t think it’s like anything I ever smelt, but it is not so nasty, if you smell it close, it’s like southern wood,” she replied. I wonder —83—