Page:MySecretLifeVol1(1888).djvu/287

MY SECRET LIFE MY SECRET LIFE

night.” “Nonsense”, but she told me she had heard that women sometimes had a sort of consciousness of getting with child, and added, “I somehow feel certain that I shall have a child from 'last Sunday.” This will be a pretty go, thought I, and asked, “Did you ever have your belly up before, for I don’t think you were a virgin when I had you.” She denied it, and there the matter ended, but I never could get to see the lower part of her belly; she would let me see up to her cunt, and down to her navel, but never more. My experience might not have taught me much if I had, but I guessed something from what old Brown had told me, and knew that woman had marks of some sort on their- bellies after child-birth.

As the time came for Sarah’s return I felt trouble could come with her. The day before she did, Susan cried, said she was certain she was in the family way, and expressed great dread of her sister knowing it. “Surely you don’t mind your own sister.” “Oh! you don’t know how hard she is upon poor girls who get into trouble”, she replied. “Here is a mess!” I thought

Sarah returned, had tried to get a miscarriage and failed, she grew bigger, all her fear was lest Susan should ﬁnd it out before she left, and on plea of her mother’s health, she gave notice. Both girls were afraid of each other, both seemed determined to get as much fucking as possible. Sarah got hers on Sundays, and sometimes on week days. Susan who was more about and could often get ﬁve minutes with me slyly, threw herself in my way, got it when and where she could, and had it once or twice daily. I was not loth. The ex- citement of two cunts and a certain pungency in the

—230— —280—