Page:MySecretLifeVol1(1888).djvu/233

MY SECRET LIFE MY SECRET LIFE

come of it. Look, here is her letter”, and she put it into my hands. To my astonishment I found Mary had told- her sister all, mixed with warm encomiums of me. I was shut up, and could only say I meant no harm. “Perhaps! but harm must come of it. It nearly brought me to ruin, for I would have done anything, lived any- how to keep near you; but I have escaped it. Poor Mary may not, for you are older now and may do more harml she is a diﬁerent temper from me, and in despair will go wrong altogether; so I pray you if you loved me, not to injure her for my sake. If she came to harm, I should break my heart”, and she broke again into tears, getting up at the same time to go.

I pulled her back and kissed her tears away. “Char- lotte, we cannot meet and part like this, I love you still, I have never ceased to love and think of you, oh! let me.” I could say no more, for in my eyes then there was a sanctity about a married woman which stilled my tongue. “Ohl let me”, was all I could say.

She understood what I wanted, and replied, “I am married and cannot, let me go.” At my entreaties she kissed me freely, yet all the time struggled to get up.

'I thought to myself, “You have had her. She loves you still. Think of the pleasure you have had with her. Here she is in your power, and canot escape without a riot, which she will fear.” Kissing her ﬁercely, stiﬂing her voice with my mouth, “I must, I will have you again”, I pulled her violently back on the sofa, and had my hand on her thighs in an instant.

“Oh! don’t, for the love of God, think I am mar- ried, don’t make me afraid of myself; oh! take care, you crush my bonnet, what shall I do, how shall I get home ?” Holding her tight, I dragged the bonnet oil

—226— —226—