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Rh I shall here mention an incident which occurred to myself, illustrative of the maxim that in matters sporting you should not prophesy unless you know.

My third adventure, of which I spoke above, was an attempt to realise my prophecy about certain results of a competition in speed between the autocar and the South of London railways on the route to the Crystal Palace. A car engaged for the party came whirling round into Whitehall Court in great style, onto which the secretary, myself and my son, whom I wished to introduce to the joys of automobilism, mounted gaily. We started and rounded into the Embankment, driven by the principal engineer of a company that shall be nameless. A cautious driver evidently, as the pace showed. Too cautious apparently, as a further diminution of pace indicated. 'Give him the w'ip, Gov'ner,' from the delighted cabby. Engineer's face a study. Steers to near side; motion ceases. Crowd gathers; passengers try to look happy. 'Don't 'it 'im, sit on 'is 'ead! ' shouts the red-faced 'bus-driver. Passengers desert stranded wreck. End of experience No. 3. Yet, like Mr. Ellis, Mr. and Mrs. Koosen and my compatriot Mr. Elliot, I am as keen as ever.

I have this excellent little story from Mrs. Coleridge Kennard:

A country parson, without any previous experience, takes it into his head to turn motorist, buys a second-hand Benz Ideal, and calmly states that he intends to be his own mechanician. Imagines cars run without any attention. Is surprised when informed they need petrol, and lubricating oil. Begins operations by fetching a bicycle oiler and giving the piston a niggardly drop of cycle oil. When told this will not answer, is greatly astonished, and expresses his opinion that there is too much oil at one end, too much grease at the other. Has innumerable difficulties, and blames the car for them all. Says his father made chronometers, so he quite thought he should be able to keep a motor in order without much trouble. Finally, after a series of disasters, consults expert opinion, and innocently puts the following query, after complaining that he cannot get his car to go anyhow.