Page:Morley--Travels in Philadelphia.djvu/52

  can hear the cows lowing out in Manayunk and Marcus Hook. We are all nigh to tears for the little sister gone astray in the bad mad city; but here come Burke and Walsh in a merry little duo about whistle-wetting. "We took this country from the Indians," sings Burke. "We'll give it back after the 1st of July," replies Walsh in his dulcet barytone. Then, to show they really don't care so much, they wind up with a jovial bit of dancing.

Dumont's famous "timely burlesques" still keep pace with the humors of the town. The "Drug Store Telephone Fight" reduces the audience to cheery hysteria. Joe Hamilton or some body gets Saint Peter on the wire; the rival demonstrator gets connected with "the other place." The problem is whether the Jazzbo Phone Company or its rival can locate the whereabouts of Mr. William Goat, who (it appears) is the father of the interlocutor, the dignified interlocutor in his purple dress suit, who is writhing in embarrassed distress on his throne. And then, as we are already trespassing on the preserve of the dramatic editor, comes what the program calls "intermission of several minutes, to enable the ladies to powder their noses."