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224 “Tact and diplomacy, Benjy, my boy,” he reminded himself.

“Ha! That’s what I like,” he said, “a good fire and a friend, and the rest of the world may go hang. There’s no question of cutting, old man; I needn’t tell you that&#8203;—&#8203;but we must have one of our good talks. For instance, I very unceremoniously turned you out of my house this afternoon, and I owe you an explanation of that. I’ll give it you in one word: Miss Mapp saw you come in. She didn’t see me come in here this evening&#8203;—&#8203;ha! ha!&#8203;—&#8203;and that’s why I can sit at my ease. But if she knew—”

Puffin guessed.

“What has happened, Major, is that you’ve thrown me over for Miss Mapp,” he observed.

“No, sir, I have not,” said the Major with emphasis. “Should I be sitting here and drinking your whisky if I had? But this morning, after that lady had accepted my regret for my share in what occurred the other night, she assumed that since I condemned my own conduct unreservedly, I must equally condemn yours. It really was like a conjuring trick; the thing was done before I knew anything about it. And before I’d had time to say, ‘Hold on a bit,’ I was being led up and down the High Street, carrying as much merchandise as a drove of camels. God, sir, I suffered this morning ; you don’t seem to realize that I suffered; I couldn’t stand any more mornings like that: I haven’t the stamina.”

“A powerful woman,” said Puffin reflectively.

“You may well say that,” observed Major Flint. “That is finely said. A powerful woman she is, with a powerful tongue, and able to be powerful nasty, and if she sees you and me on friendly terms again, she’ll turn the full hose on to us both unless you make it up with her.”