Page:Mirror of wit.pdf/9

( 9 ) 20. Wien Foste was at Salt-hill, he dined at the Caſtle, and when the landlord produced the bill, which was exorbitant. Foote aſked him his name.- Partridge. an't pleaſe you, ſaid he.- Partridge replied Foote it ſhould have been Woodcock, by the length of your Bill.

21. Ned Shuter was often very poor, and, being ſtill more negligent than poor, was careleſs about his dreſs. A friend overtaking him one day in the ſtreet, ſaid to him, Why, Ned! are you not aſhamed to walk the ſtreets with twenty holes in your ſtockings? Why don't you get them mended? No, my friend, ſaid Ned, I am above it; end, if you have the pride of a gentleman, you will act like me, and walk with twenty holes rather than have one darn. How, how! replied the other How the deuce do you make that out? Why, replied Ned, a hole is the accident of she day, but a darn is premeditated poverty.

22. Two perſons riding from Shipton to Burford, and ſeeing a miller riding ſoftly before them on his ſacks were reſolved to paſs a joke with him; ſo they went one on each ſide, ſayings Miller, now tell us, whether thou art more knave then fool? Truly, ſaid he, I don't know which I am moſt, but I believe I am between both.

13. An officer of a ſhip which was lying at Spit-head, having occaſion to ſend a meſſage to his country-houſe, diſpatched a ſailor on horſe-back with a letter; who, after delivering it, and being refreſhed and the horſe fed, went to the ſtable to prepare for his return. A by ſtander obſerved to him that he was putting the hind part of the ſaddle before; to which the ſailor replied, How do you know which way I am going to ride?

24. Henry