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A COLLECTION OF JESTS.

An Iriſhman being aſked. whether he or his brother were oldeſt? I am oldeſt ſaid he, but if my brother live three years longer, we ſhall be both of one age.

An Irish ſervant being ſtruck by his maſter, cried out, Devil take me, if I am certain whether he has killed me or not; but if I am dead, it will afford me great ſatisfaction to hear the old rogue was hanged for killing me.

A deaf fellow coming to London to ſell a turkey, at Hyde Park Corner, had occaſion to untruſs a point; a gentleman paſſing by, intended to put a joke upon him; countryman ſaid he, there's a turd under you ; the man thinking he aſked the price of his turkey, ſaid, four ſhillings, maſter. I ſay there's a turd under you, ſaid the other. It is as good as ever you eat in your life, ſaid the fellow, either baked or roaſted. You raſcal, ſaid he, I could find in my heart to kick you ſoundly. Come chuſe, ſays the fellow, for if you wont another will.

One being at his wife's funeral, and the bearers going pretty quick along, he cried out to them, Don't go ſo faſt, what need we make a toil of a pleaſure.

Two Iriſmen, walking together in the fields, were at length hemmed in by a great ditch, which when they perceived, quoth one of them, we muſt go back again, for this ditch is too big for us to jump over! Nay. quoth the other, I proteſt I'll jump over, though I light in the middle.