Page:Merry tales of the wise men of Gotham (4).pdf/15

 great ſatisfaction to hear the old rogue was hanged for killing me. A deaf fellow coming to London to ſell a 'turkey, at Hyde-park Corner, had occaſion to untruſs a point; a gentleman paſſing by, intended to put a joke upon him; countryman, ſaid he, There's a turd under you; the man thinking he aſked the price of his turkey, ſaid, four ſhillings, maſter. I ſay there's a curd un- der you, ſaid the other. It is as good as ever you eat in your life, ſaid the fellow, either baked or roaſt- ed. You raſcal, ſaid he, I could find in my heart to kick you ſoundly. Come chuſe, ſays the fellow, for if you won't another will. One being at his wife's funeral, and the bearers going pretty quick along, he cried out to them, Don't go ſo faſt, what need we make a toil of a pleaſure. Two Iriſhmen, walking together in the fields, were at length hemmed in by a great ditch, which when they perceived, quoth one of them, we muſt go back again, for this ditch is too big for us to jump over! Nay, quoth the other, I proteſt I'll jump over, tho! I light in the middle. A number of French gentlemen, dining at a ta vero in Germany, the maid, as the took out the diſhes, let a rouſing fart; and her miſtreſs ſcolding her ſeverely for doing ſuch a thing in hearing of the gueſts. Pſhaw, madam, ſays ſhe, you don't conſi- der that they are all French people, and don't under ſtand German. In Admiral Hawke's laſt engagement with th French, a ſailor on board one of the ſhips had a le hot off, whereupon one of his meſs-nates nook him down to the ſurgeon, and took his leg off the dec and put it under his arm; he was no ſooner brough dowa, but another of his meſs-mates began ſhakin