Page:Merry tales of the wise men of Gotham (4).pdf/14

 w wyce, we have come to you muſt uſe prayer, faſting and aims, but come ye to shrift, I will tell ye more of my mind. But as for prayer, I don't think that two men in the pariſh can ſay their Pater-noſter. As for faſting, ye faſt ſtill, for ye have not a good real's meat in the year. As for alms-deeds, what ſhould they give that have nothing? In Lent, you muſt refrain from drunkenneſs, and ab- ſtain from drink. No, not ſo, ſaid one fellow, for it is an old proverb, that fiſh ſhould ſwim. Yes, ſaid the prieſt, it muſt ſwim in the water. I crave your mer- cy, quoth the fellow, I thought it ſhould have ſwam in fine ale, for I have been told ſo. Soon after the men of Gotham came to ſhrift, and being ſeven, the prieſt knew not what penance to give. He ſaid, if I enjoin you to pray, you cannot ſay your Pater-noſter. And it is but folly to make you faſt, becauſe you ne ver eat a meal's meat. Labour hard and get a dinner on Sunday and I will partake of it. Another man he enjoined to fare well on Monday, and another on Tueſday, and one after another, that one or other ſhould fare well once in the week, that he might have part of their meat. And as for alms- deeds, the prieſ ſaid, ye be but beggars all except one or two, therefore beſtow your alms on yourſelves. A COLLECTION OF JESTS. AN Irishman asked, whether he or his brother were oldeſt ? I am oldeſt, ſaid he, but if my brother live three years longer, we ſhall both be of ſame age. An Irich ſervant being ſtruck by his maſter, cried but, Devil take me if I am certain whether he has 