Page:Merry tales of the wise men of Gotham (11).pdf/23

A Collection of Jests.23 the fields, were at length hemmed in by a great ditch, which when they perceived, quoth one of them, we must go back again, for the ditch is too big for us to jump over; nay, quoth the other, I protest I'll jump over, though I light in the middle.

A number of French gentlemen, dining at a tavern in Germany, the maid, as she took out the dishes, let a rousing fart; and her mistress scolding her severely for doing such a thing in hearing of the guests; Pshaw, madam, says she, you don't consider that they are all French people, and don't understand German.

In Admiral Hawke's last engagement with the French, a sailor on board one of the ships, had a leg shot off, whereupon one of his mess-mates took him down to the surgeon, and took his leg off the deck, and put under his arm; he was no sooner brought down, but another of his mess-mates began shaking his head, and telling him, he was very sorry he had lost a leg. That is a damn'd lie, you son of a b—h, replied he, for I've got it under my arm.