Page:Memorials of Capt. Hedley Vicars, Ninety-seventh Regiment by Marsh, Catherine, 1818-1912.djvu/64

58 to be again obliged to disappoint you, but it cannot be helped; so I beseech you not to fret yourself on my account. Your letters breathe such love and anxiety to see me, that I feel half inclined to desert!!

"I am delighted to hear that your health is good. God grant that it may long continue so. I want to know whether you find from experience that your love to Christ now is less warm, less palpable to yourself than when you were first converted? I feel that it so with me — at least that I have not a crucified Saviour ever before me as I once had: and I do not feel so much anxiety as I once did for the souls around me. Then, again, at times, I parley with the tempter by listening to his suggestions instead of casting them from me at the onset. But Jesus died, for me. I trust, by the grace of God, that the devil will never be able to induce me to give up this precious truth."

Their happy meeting followed soon afterwards. The long desired leave came at last, and on the evening of the 15th of June, he arrived unexpectedly at home whilst his family were at church attending a week-day service. The joy of that meeting was one with which a stranger intermeddleth not.

To the family and friends of Hedley Vicars, the year which followed his return home was one of interest and happiness of no common kind. The heart of his widowed mother "sang for joy" as she marked "the exceeding grace of God in him," and his sisters and brothers found him to be at once a cheerful companion, a faithful friend, and a wise adviser. The time of his leave was chiefly spent at Terling Place, Essex, the seat of his brother-in-law, Lord Rayleigh, whose brotherly kindness and Christian love made his house truly a home to Hedley Vicars. Here he enjoyed the unreserved interchange of warm affection with every member of his family. He shared his sisters' pursuits with animated, interest.