Page:Memorials of Capt. Hedley Vicars, Ninety-seventh Regiment by Marsh, Catherine, 1818-1912.djvu/58

52 "November 22nd. — Endeavoured to meditate, whilst dressing, on 'My soul longeth, yea, even fainteth for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh crieth out for the living God.' Alas, my soul, how different it is with thee! Mr.— called to ask me if I would become a district visitor, to which I agreed. Met Dr. Twining, on my return from walking, and told him that Mr.— had asked me to become a visitor. He disapproved of it, and said that my duly was to devote my spare time to the soldiers of my regiment. I feel that I have not been sufficiently earnest in this of late. Oh, let me start once again in the path of my own Christian duty, labouring alone from love to Christ, and praying always for his blessing on whatever I may undertake. Let me devote all my energies to the work of endeavouring to bring my fellow-sinners and fellow-soldiers unto Jesus; and do Thou, my heavenly father, bless my feeble efforts, and make me the means in Thy hands of bringing many from darkness to light. May I ever feel it a glorious privilege to be permitted to raise my voice in the cause of that Saviour whom I have so often rejected and denied; and when discouraged by seeing no good results, let me put faith in Thee, and in Thy word, 'Cast thy bread upon the waters, and thou shalt find it again after many days.' May I never omit earnest prayer for all those in whom I may perceive any sign of grace, and never despair of the hardest-hearted sinner, remembering what I once was.

"January 8th, 1853. — Rose at seven. Meditated on the words, 'I will hear what God the Lord will speak; for He will speak peace to his people and to his saints; but let them not turn again to folly.' May I ever, ever be guided by the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Let me wait patiently for His outpouring; then shall I have peace and joy; my soul shall magnify the Lord, and my spirit shall rejoice in God my Saviour. But, oh, let me beware of