Page:Memorials of Capt. Hedley Vicars, Ninety-seventh Regiment by Marsh, Catherine, 1818-1912.djvu/53

Rh sins. Oh, that I had a humble spirit! God, undeserving as I am, grant me more of thy Holy Spirit.

"September 2d. — I have just come from seeing poor Brunt's corpse. I went there to read with him, and found him in his coffin. Oh, how my heart smote me! It is ten days since I last read with him. Forgive me, my God, this, and give me thy Holy Spirit to sanctify me more and more for thy service.

"September 8th. — Remained in bed till half-past seven. Much troubled with doubts of my being justified and the fear that I am striving to gain heaven. O God, give me thy Holy Spirit, that I may look solely to my Saviour! Better after prayer. Afraid to talk to my orderly on religion.

"September 11th. — Remained in bed till nearly eight o'clock. Oh, how hard it is to do what I know to be right! Prayed to-day for help from above to enable me to strive more against a growing desire to save myself. O God, enable me to look to the finished work of Jesus.

"Saturday 20th. — Passed the day in a very listless manner — did not, through a sort of fear, go and read with Cranny. Joking too much for my own happiness and comfort. Read a little of Haweis on the Sacrament. Oh, do thou. Holy Spirit, shine into my heart, and sanctify and prepare me for partaking aright of the blessed sacrament of the body and blood of Christ on Sunday!

"Sunday, 26th. — In a very happy frame of mind nearly all day. Went to a prayer-meeting at half past six o'clock Partook of the sacrament; rather a happy season. I trust I shall keep the vows I made.

"October 19th. — Got up at half-past six. Grievously distressed with thoughts of my great sins. O God, thou art of purer eyes than to behold my iniquity, yet for thy dear Son's sake, forgive me all my