Page:Memorials of Capt. Hedley Vicars, Ninety-seventh Regiment by Marsh, Catherine, 1818-1912.djvu/51

Rh Thoughts wandering in prayer. I must look entirely to Christ, and live out of myself.

"26th. — Spoke to Halyard and two others this morning about religion. I believe Halyard to be truly converted. He was with poor Brunt last night. He could not speak. He is probably dead now, poor fellow! If so, I trust that his soul is now with the 'spirits of just men made perfect.' Prayed with some fervour. My past sins strike me now so differently from what they did. Jesus is my only hope. Read and prayed in the evening for an hour and a half with Brunt. I think he is dying.

"28th. — Was preserved, in answer to my prayer from an evil temper at drill. Oh! my God, grant it may always be so. Read and prayed with poor Brunt. Four of the 97th soldiers came in, and sat down. I have great hopes of all. I was enabled to speak to them pretty freely.

"August 9th. — In a happy frame of mind nearly all day. Went to the levee at two o'clock. Dined with Jones: talked with him on religious subjects; felt a good deal of pride in talking. Oh! my God, enable me to overcome this, and to feel myself indeed to be but a worthless sinner.

"10th. — Had happy thoughts of Jesus. Not many wandering thoughts at morning prayer. Showed how far I am from hating sin, by telling with pleasure of some of my mad acts at Malta to two of my brother officers.

"16th. — Still in a torpid state of mind. O god, grant that I am not going back in religion! How seldom have I this day thought of all Christ has done for me. Did not read a chapter this afternoon; prayer wandering. Read a Psalm with Brunt, but not at all happy in doing so. Read the papers till too late at night, and in evening prayer found my thoughts wandering. Oh! my God, give me thy Holy Spi-