Page:Memorials of Capt. Hedley Vicars, Ninety-seventh Regiment by Marsh, Catherine, 1818-1912.djvu/43

Rh now makes my heart sicken. Even then I never could enjoy recalling the occupations of each day; and think you my conscience was quiet? No, though again and again I stifled it, as too many do. Bitter experience has taught me that 'there is no peace to the wicked.' Blessed be God, I know now that I am pardoned and reconciled to God, through the death of his Son. How happy is the Christian's life when he has this assurance!

"Do not think, dear Edward, that because I write thus I wish you to think me very religious, or that I consider myself better than you. I do not. But I find more pleasure now in writing on these subjects than on any other, and I want to draw out your thoughts about them. If you have not yet turned entirely to God, take my advice, and if you want to find true happiness, do so at once."

A letter, dated June 23rd, 1852, indicates his steady progress in the new course:

" — If you look out you will probably see my name in the Gazette in a fortnight or so, as the Colonel sends the recommendation home by this mail. My worldly prospects will soon be considerably improved. What reason I have to be thankful to Him who, notwithstanding my utter unworthiness, has been so kind and merciful to me. Oh! that I felt more love and gratitude to Him. I trust, my dear mother, that in the performance of the arduous duties of an adjutant I may never neglect the more important duties of a Christian, and that I may do all to the glory of God. How amply shall I be repaid if even one of my fellow-soldiers is brought by my example and advice, as a means in the hand of God, to a saving knowledge of his mercies in Christ. I must be prepared to meet with much discouragement from ignorance and hardness of heart, but I will endeavour to do my duty and leave the