Page:Memorials of Capt. Hedley Vicars, Ninety-seventh Regiment by Marsh, Catherine, 1818-1912.djvu/40

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"I trust I am beginning to see and feel the folly and vanity of the world and all its pleasures, and that I have at length entered the strait gate, and am travelling the narrow road that leadeth unto eternal life.

"I trust you will not consider me a confirmed egotist, for writing so much of myself. I have done so, because, I thought you would like to hear how changed I am become.

"I trust, dearest, that your heart has been changed long before mine; was touched. Let us both remember that we can do no good thing of ourselves, for it is the Lord alone who worketh in us both to will and do of his good pleasure. Let us not trust in our own righteousness, which is but as 'filthy rags,' but let us trust entirely in the merits and blood of our blessed Saviour. I never can sufficiently show my gratitude to God, who has shown such long-suffering forbearance towards me — who has spared me through so many scenes of sin and folly.

"Summer has begun to change the face of nature, and everything is looking green and lovely. I took a delightful walk into the country yesterday evening — the first time I ever enjoyed the blessed sense of communion with God. But when I came home it had all lied, and left me in a disturbed and restless state of mind: my summer heart of warmth and love had changed back into its natural state of winter, cold and dead!

"I am sorry to say that poor Lieutenant J— is in a very precarious state; even if he recovers, he will never have the use of his leg. I go sometimes to sit with him, and endeavour to bring to his mind the things which belong to his everlasting peace. He said to me one day, 'Vicars, tell me, do you really