Page:Memorials of Capt. Hedley Vicars, Ninety-seventh Regiment by Marsh, Catherine, 1818-1912.djvu/31

Rh as a talisman. Darling Mary, I think more of those two locks of hair than of anything else in my possession."

In July, 1849, we Find him intrusted with the management of a sort of regimental carnival — an entertainment which lasted two days, having been given by the 97th to the neighbouring families who had shown them hospitality and attention. At the close he expresses a sense of dissatisfaction, without any definite reason for it, but "is glad it is over."

About this time he writes with his usual frank simplicity, "I have given up my cottage for the last fortnight to some invalids from Kingston and their doctor, and have domiciled myself in my kitchen. They are very grateful to me for my kindness." His cottage and garden were his playthings, and his refined taste displayed itself in their decoration, although this was now exercised with strict economy; for he writes that he is "saving every fraction he can, to pay off his few remaining debts;" and winds up this information with the pleasant announcement, "In a short time, dear mother, your son will be entirely out of debt; hurrah!"

It was a year after this time, that a more serious tone began to be discernible in his letters — a longing for something higher than he had hitherto reached — a conviction of sin before God, "sin worthy of eternal punishment," with a desire to "enter on a state of preparedness for death and eternity." But his condition is that of one wandering in a labyrinth, and the clue to the way home is not yet found. He feels the force of temptation, laments the dread of his companions' ridicule, and confesses his own utter inability to turn to God, whilst entreating his mother's prayers that the Holy Spirit may be poured out upon him.

The simple pleasures of his cottage home have a stronger hold than ever upon his heart, and reawaken