Page:Memorials of Capt. Hedley Vicars, Ninety-seventh Regiment by Marsh, Catherine, 1818-1912.djvu/147

140 to one whose heart has tasted how sweet and precious Christ is, when the Saviour withdraws the light of his countenance, and seems to leave the soul (whom, nevertheless, He has promised — blessed truth!— to forsake), when those glorious promises, which were 'the joy and rejoicing of the heart,' fall heavily on the ear, and fail to bring Jesus home to the soul. I suppose I have a more than commonly stony heart, but the Lord is softening it, and causing me, at any rate, to wish to be more like Christ.

"At first, when I heard that my precious L. had been ill — whilst I knew the Lord would not afflict willingly — I found myself a most unbelieving creature, when faith was most wanted; and even now, whilst I am praying most earnestly for her, and for you, and for L——e to be fully restored to health and strength, I fear that it is not with that humble submission to our Father's will, which true faith in his love should impart, following the example of our blessed Redeemer, in saying, 'Not my will, but Thine be done.'"

But it was not for any length of time that the Master, who loved him, left his faithful servant to walk in darkness, and have no light, or at best with but a twilight glimmering from that Sun of Righteousness, who was about to rise again and shine upon his soul with healing in his wings, and scarcely to withdraw Himself any more, until the everlasting day broke, and the shadows of death fled away.

On the 18th of October he writes:

"I have but just emerged from clouds which have obscured Jesus from my view. I seemed to wander in thick darkness, without my loving Redeemer near to be my stay and delight. But great blessings are often sent to us after short trials; and such I think I am now finding. The Lord Jesus has arisen upon me, and has made His glory manifest to my soul. I