Page:Memorials of Capt. Hedley Vicars, Ninety-seventh Regiment by Marsh, Catherine, 1818-1912.djvu/105

96 in the army, and as a soldier I will die! Had I loved Jesus when I was seventeen, or rather had the love of Jesus been then made known to my soul, I certainly should not have been a soldier; but as it is, death alone shall ever make me leave my colours. Did our God and King, Jesus himself the 'great Captain of our salvation,' spare any toil, fatigue, anguish, or bodily suffering even unto death, to obtain forgiveness of our sins? And shall not we, towards whom this infinite love and compassion have been shown, be constrained to do something for Jesus in return, nor care if our path of duty should prove a rough and thorny one: for He cleared a way through the briars first, and we but follow in the Saviour's footsteps?

"I confess that at times Satan has puffed me up, and made me think more highly of myself than I ought to think: but I hate and detest this sin, and for many months I think the Lord has given me grace to fight against effectually. But I must be watchful. How pleasant is it not, after having been engaged in the work of heart-examination, to pause and behold the Lamb of God? I thank God that I can trace so distinctly His finger in my soul's conversion, and that it has been begun and is carried on entirely by Him alone. 'By grace are ye saved, through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest any man should boast.' that was slain, to receive power, and riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honour, and glory, and blessing!'

"In reading again the account of our Saviour's resurrection, I could not help pausing to meditate on those blessed words, 'I ascend to my Father and your Father.' Is it not delightful when we can (even only for a while) fully realize that we are thus closely united to God through Jesus Christ ; and is it not a wonderful thought, in grandeur far exceeding the highest conception of the human mind, that we,