Page:Memoirs of the Lady Hester Stanhope.djvu/282

 widows, and little children, who, to feed or clothe for nearly two years, took away all the ready money with which I ought in part to have paid my debts, and caused new ones!—yet I am no swindler, and will not appear like one. Your Queen had no business to meddle in my affairs. In due time, please God, I should have known how to arrange to satisfy everybody, even if I left myself a beggar. If she pretends to have a right to stop my pension, I resign it altogether, as well as the name of an English subject; for there is no family that has served their country and the crown more faithfully than mine has done, and I am not inclined to be treated with moins d'égards than was formerly shown to a gentleman-like highwayman.

I have been every day in expectation of a reply from Sir F. Burdett respecting a large property which is said to have been left me in Ireland, and which has been concealed from me for many years. In case of its coming into my hands, I shall still not keep my pension, in order to cut off every communication with the English Government, from whom only proceed acts of folly, which any moment may rebound upon an individual. I chose Sir Francis Burdett to look into my affairs, because I believe him to be a truly conscientious honest man. Although we always disagreed upon politics, we were always the best friends,