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 330 been deprived of the dearest partner of my joys and affections, and they of the most affectionate father. He made the most uneasy things tolerable to me, and though I knew we were mortal, and that we must soon part, yet by my continual indispositions, I thought my labors were the nearest at an end, and that God in his mercy would have hearkened to my prayers, and let me pass first out of this vale of misery, and that I should never feel the loss of such a dear and worthy partner, which was endowed with all the virtues of a good Christian, without ostentation, loved by all, and envied by none. If it were not that I soon expect a change, my life would seem intolerable; for I can say with holy Job, I would not live always.

Cruel self-love, that I should lament the happiness of that good soul which is gone before me, to attain the immortal crown of glory which God hath promised through the merits of our blessed Saviour, to them that trust in him. God's will be done! May he, in his great mercy, support and relieve me in this my weak and low condition, both of body and mind, and make me have a true sense of all his former blessings bestowed so undeservedly on me and mine, and also make me grateful for those he has in his mercy left me, which cannot be numbered. That he hath promised to be the protector of the fatherless and widow is my chief comfort, and it will be to my life's end, for I know that God will never forsake me, though my children may leave me; for, if it please God that I sojourn much longer in this state of trial, I must be deprived of their sweet company and assistance.

My dear James hath left me already, in hopes to advance his fortune, to the great regret of his flock. My dear Molly and her husband are going on the same account, which are