Page:Memoirs of Mrs. Harriet Newell.pdf/5

 on reflecting upon what I had escaped, I was filled with a sweet peace, a heavenly calmness, which I never can describe. The character of Jesus appeared infinitely lovely and I could say with the Palmist; ''Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none on earth I desire besides thee.''

Alas! these seasons so precious did not long continue. Soon was I led to exclaim,- Oh, that I were as in months past! My zeal for the cause of religion almost entirely abated; while this vain world engrossed my affections, which had been consecrated to my Redeemer. My Bible, once so lovely, was entirely neglected. Novels and romances engaged my thoughts, and hour after hour was foolishly and Sinfully spent in the perusal of them. The company of Christians became, by degrees, irksome and unpleasant. I endeavoured to shun then. The voice of conscience would frequently whisper, "all is not right." Many a sleepless night have I passed after a day of vanity and sin. But such conflicts did not bring me home to the fold, from which, like a strayed lamb, I had wandered far away. A religion, which was intimately connected with the amusements of the world, and the friendship of those who are at enmity with God, would have suited well my depraved heart. But I knew that the religion of the gospel was vastly different. It exalts the Creator, while it humbles the creature in the dust.

Such was my awful situation! I lived only to wound the cause of my ever blessed Saviour. Weep, O my soul, when contemplating and recording these sins of my youth! Be astonished at the long-suffering of Jehovah!- How great a God is our God! The death of a beloved parent, and uncle, had but little effect on my hard heart. Though these afflictions moved my passions, they did not