Page:Memoirs James Hardy Vaux.djvu/90

67 to sit on top the main-top-mast head, for two, four, and sometimes eight hours; at other times to sit on the weather cat-head, exposed to a cutting wind; and other similar punishments, depending on the humour or severity of the officer of the watch. In addition to the hardships and fatigues of duty, I began to find my situation in the mess grow daily more irksome. I soon perceived that a midshipman's birth (or mess-room) is an epitome of the world at large, the weaker party goes to the wall, and is subject to many insults and impositions from those who are his superiors in seniority, strength, or interest. There were also frequent instances of intrigue and treachery; and as among so many persons there must be various dispositions, there were not wanting envious and malicious minds, whose delight was in fomenting mischief and detraction. Being naturally of a peaceable turn, hating nothing so much as a life of dissension, and abhorring tyranny of every description, I now wished myself emancipated from this state of bondage, as to me it seemed; and I discovered, when too late, that "all is not gold that glitters," and that the situation of a midshipman (which I had once considered the summum bonum of honour and happiness) was not, any more than others, wholly free from care and inquietude. However I continued to weather the gale, as well as I could; and conscious of the rectitude of my intentions, suffered patiently those little mortifications I had not power to avert.