Page:Mehalah 1920.djvu/269

Rh ruffled and stood up like rushes over a choked drain. He turned his head aside and listened. Mehalah held her breath. "You are there," he said. "Although you try to hide from me, I know you are there and watching me. I am in the dark, but I can see. I can see you always and everywhere, with your eyes—great angry brown eyes—on me, and your hand lifted to strike me into endless night." Mehalah did not speak. Why should she? She could say nothing that could do either any good. "Have you put the hot fire to your tongue and scorched it out as you have put it to my eyes?" he asked. "Can't you speak? Must I sit alone in darkness, or tramp alone up and down in black hell, feeling the flames dance in my eye-sockets, but not seeing them, and have no one to speak to, no one to touch, no one to kick, and beat and curse? Go out and fetch me a dog that I may torture it to death and laugh over the sport. I must do something, I cannot tramp, tramp, and strike my head and shoulders against the walls till I am bruised and cut, with no one to speak to, or speak to me. By heaven! it is bad enough in Grimshoe with two in the shiphold mangling each other, but there is excitement and sport in that. It is worse in that wooden hold yonder, for there I am all alone." He stopped speaking, and began to feel round the room. He came to the chimney and put his fingers into the letters of the inscription. "Ha!" he muttered, "When I lay hold, I hold fast. I laid hold of you, Mehalah, but I have not let go yet, though I have burned my fingers."

This was the first time he had called her by her Christian name. She was surprised. "Mehalah!" he repeated, "Mehalah!" and then laughed bitterly to himself. "You are no more my Glory. There is no Glory here for me; unless, in pity for what a ruin you have made, you take me to your heart and love me. If you will do that I will pardon all, I will not give a thought to my eyes. I can still see you standing in the midst of the fire, unhurt like a daughter of God. I do not care. I shall always see you there, and when the fire goes out and only black ashes remain, I shall see you there shining like a lamp in the night, always the same. I do not care how