Page:Maurine and Other Poems (1910).pdf/30

 And so a tender Father kept him free, With all the largeness of his love, for me— For me, unworthy such a precious gift! Yet I will bend each effort of my life To grow in grace and goodness, and to lift My soul and spirit to his lofty height, So to deserve that holy name, his wife. Sweet friend, it fills my whole heart with delight To breathe its long hid secret in your ear. Speak, my Maurine, and say you love to hear!”

The while she spoke, my active brain gave rise To one great thought of mighty sacrifice And self-denial. Oh! it blanched my cheek, And wrung my soul; and from my heart it drove All life and feeling. Coward-like, I strove To send it from me; but I felt it cling And hold fast on my mind like some live thing; And all the Self within me felt its touch And cried, “No, no! I cannot do so much— I am not strong enough—there is no call.” And then the voice of Helen bade me speak, And with a calmness born of nerve, I said, Scarce knowing what I uttered, “Sweetheart, all Your joys and sorrows are with mine own wed. I thank you for your confidence, and pray I may deserve it always. But, dear one, Something—perhaps our boat-ride in the sun— Has set my head to aching. I must go To bed directly; and you will, I know, Grant me your pardon, and another day We’ll talk of this together. Now good-night, And angels guard you with their wings of light.”

I kissed her lips, and held her on my heart, And viewed her as I ne’er had done before. I gazed upon her features o’er and o’er; Marked her white, tender face—her fragile form, Like some frail plant that withers in the storm; Saw she was fairer in her new-found joy Than e’er before; and thought, “Can I destroy God’s handiwork, or leave it at the best A broken harp, while I close clasp my bliss?” I bent my head and gave her one last kiss, And sought my room, and found there such relief As sad hearts feel when first alone with grief.