Page:Masterpieces of American Humor (Little Blue Book 959).djvu/8

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I love the doctor for his negative qualities; not for medicating us, but for his skillfully administered bread pills. I love him for his diplomatic way of making us believe he’s doctored us when he hasn’tfor the best doctors now take off their hats to Dr. Nature, and let him do what they used to do with physic.

Speaking of negative doctoring reminds me of how General Sheridan defended Dr. Bliss. Dr. Bliss, you Know, was the man who cured President Garfieldthat is, cured him as Dr. Mackenzie did the German Emperorcured him till he died.

One day, when they were criticizing Dr. Bliss, General Sheridan came to the doctor’s defense.

"Dr. Bliss was a good physician," said General Sheridan; "he saved my life once."

"How? How did Bliss save your life?” asked Dr. Hammond.

"Well," said Sheridan, "I was very sick in the hospital after the battle of Winchester. One day they sent for Dr. Agnew, of Philadelphia, and he gave me some medicine, but I kept getting worse. Then they sent for Dr. Frank Hamilton, and he gave me some more medicine, but I grew worse and worse. Then they sent for Dr. Bliss, and"

"And you still grew worse?"