Page:Masterpieces of American Humor (Little Blue Book 959).djvu/13

Rh "Now, docthor, by vartue of your oath, answer this: 'Did you cure me wife?'"

"No; she's dead. You know that."

"Now, docthor, by vartue of your oath, answer this: 'Did you kill me wife?'"

"No; she died of her illness."

"Your Worship," said the Irishman, turning to the judge, "you see this. You heard him tell our bargain. It was to kill or cure. By vartue of his oath he done nayther, and he axes the fee!"

The Irishman lost his case, however. He was not so successful as farmer Bennettold Peter Bennett, of Georgia. Old Peter was a plain old farmer, but he was a good talker. It seems that the old man's wife had a sore limb, and he employed Dr. Mason to cure it, but never paid him for his services. Now, Dr. Mason was a very noted and a very learned man; and to add to this, he employed Bob Toombs to prosecute the case. It was a great case in Georgia, "Old Peter Bennett vs. Dr. Mason," and the reputation of Toombs brought out a courthouse full of people.

Well, Toombs made a strong speech. He didn't leave a ghost of a chance for old Peter. However, just before the decision was to be made, old Peter arose, and said:

"Jedge, moight I say suthin' in this case?"

"Certainly," said the judge.

"Wall, gentlemen of the jury," began old Peter, depositing a chew of tobacco in the corner, "I ain't no lawyer and no doctor, and you ain't nuther; and if we farmers don't stick together, these here lawyers and doctors will