Page:Masterpieces of American Humor (Little Blue Book 959).djvu/12

10 Doctors often say their fees are high because so many patients fail to pay their honest bills. To collect these bills doctors often have to resort to the courts. A queer medico-legal case came up recently in Chicago. Dr. Barker sued an Irishman for five dollars for professional services attending his wife. He proved his claim by competent witnessesproved that he had made the visits, and there seemed to be no chance for the Irishman to get out of paying the bill. But after admitting the visits the Irishman begged the privilege of cross-examining the doctor.

"Docthor," he commenced, "you remimber when I called on you?"

"I do, sir."

"What did I soy?"

"You said your wife was sick, and you wished me to go and see her."

"What did you soy thin?"

"I said I would if you'd pay me my fee."

"What did I soy?"

"You said you'd pay the fee, if you knew what it was."

"What did you soy?"

"I said I'd take five dollars at first, and maybe more in the end, according to the sickness."

"Now, docthor, by vartue of your oath, didn't I soy 'Kill or cure, docthor, I'll give you the five dollars.' And didn't you soy, 'Kill or cure, I'll take it?'"

"I did; and I agreed to the bargain, and want the money accordingly," said Dr. Barker.