Page:Marquis de Sade - Adelaide of Brunswick.djvu/173

 sacred veil which bringing her closer to God, separated her forever from the world.

From that day on Sister Adelaide fulfilled all the duties of the convent and followed the rules which made this order the severest in Europe. Instead of the haughty and proud princess, she now became a gentle and obedient and self-effacing nun. Always the first to arrive at chapel, the most ardent in prayer, the most active in the work in the convent, she became the example of those who had formerly been considered the models.

But so much repression of her character and so much austerity in her conduct, so much violence in her affections, still only partially extinguished, such a hard and new life for her, soon affected her health. A harsh and frequent cough racked her now thin body. They tried to get her to take medicine, but she refused.

"Oh, Father," she said to Urbain who tried to get her to take some remedies, "it is not to continue to live that I came into your convent; it is to learn to die. As I approach this last moment, my heart becomes filled with a celestial joy. Let me enjoy without fright these last moments. My soul which has come from Heaven wishes to return there and this becomes the dearest of my desires. God, who is so good, will receive me with indulgence. Ah, with what an eye of scorn I will see all the vanities which attached me to this earth. My feeble voice joining that of the angels will praise without ceasing the Lord and it is then that I will find the happiness so vainly sought on this earth. How blind and hardened is the person who refuses to admit the existence of this heavenly happiness to which I feel myself already closely linked. Oh, Father, my vision is beginning to be blurred, my eyes are dazzled by the majesty of God extending his arms to me, and I can no longer see the things of this world. Have traced at the foot of the altar that cross of ashes where I want my body stretched out like that of the Son of our Lord. While I was still too much attached to the earth I wanted to share the tomb of the princess, I now give up this frivolous honor. My hands have dug my grave under one of the willow trees in the garden. Let my remains be put there like those of my companions and if my