Page:Marquis de Sade - Adelaide of Brunswick.djvu/148

 of my family, since my wife died poisoned by the same hand which later plunged the dagger into the breast of my son. The despair into which the loss of my dear wife threw me caused me to give up life in society of man. I went into orders and have been a priest ever since. At the same time I was busy educating my son. After a while my duties and the happy results of my labors with my son brought about a lessening of my sufferings. Then suddenly came the death of my son. From that moment I gave myself up to absolute retirement from society. A churchman was needed for this convent. I had some connection with the abbess on my wife's side of the family, and I obtained this place. Since the death of my son, not having anything left except God, I have consecrated my days to serving Him. By means of the instruction which the pious souls which live here are willing to receive from me, I fortify them as well as myself in the principles which the world forgets too often. You can see, Princess, that I should know you, and it is a happiness for me to humiliate myself in front of you. For, you have had no part, Milady, in the murder of my son. I know it. It was by an atrocious wickedness that they sent him to a rendezvous which you could not have accorded since you did not even know him. Alas! all comes from the same source. Both the poison which ended the days of my wife and the dagger which stabbed my son, all I repeat, was directed by the same hand. For a long time I wanted to know who had done all this, a just vengeance made this curiosity legitimate. But now religion forbids this, and I want to die in this place without knowing those who have done me so much harm and without wishing to get my vengeance. If I took this upon myself it would be doubting the justice of Heaven, and it is in it alone which I put all my confidence. But do not believe, Milady, that I implore heaven for this vengeance. I swear by the ashes of these two beings who were so dear to me that I have never asked for anything except the happiness of which they are worthy and of their repentance and their conversion."

"Ah, holy man," said Adelaide, "allow me to weep with you over these victims of a ferocious rage, and I confess that if