Page:Madrid shaver's singular adventures, and wonderful escape from the Spanish Inquisition (3).pdf/10

10 to your most merciful ears, upon a certain crying occasion, which would not admit of a moment’s delay.

Recollect yourself, Nicolas, said his Excellency, the Inquisidor general; was there nothing else you did, save smiting your beast?

I take Nicholas de Tolentino to witness, replied he, that I know of no other crime, for which I can be responsible at this righteous tribunal, save smiting my unruly beast. Take notice, brethren, exclaimed the Inquisidor, this unholy wretch holds trampling over friars to be no crime.

Pardon me, holy father, replied Nicholas I hold it for the worst of crimes, and therefore surrender my refractory mule to be dealt with as you see fit: and if you impale her alive it will be no more than she deserves.

Your wits are too nimble, replied the judge; have a care they do not run away with your discretion; recollect the blasphemies you uttered in the hearing of those pious people.

I humbly pray your Excellency, answered the prisoner, to recollect that anger is a short madness, and I hope allowances will be made by your holy council for words spoke in haste to a rebellious mule: the prophet Balaam was thrown off his guard by a simple ass, and what is an ass compared to a mule? If your Excellency had seen the lovely creature that was screaming in agony till I came to her relief, and how fine a boy I ushered into the world, which would have been lost but for my assistance, I am sure I should not be condemned for a few hasty words spoken in passion.