Page:Madrid shaver's adventures in the Spanish Inquisition (4).pdf/9

9 I were blessed with the forbearance of holy Job, (for like him too I am married, and my patience hath been exercised by a wife,) yet could I not forbear to smite my beast for her obstinacy, and the rather because I was summoned in the way of my profession, as I have already made known to your most merciful ears, upon a certain crying occasion, which would not admit of a moment’s delay.

Recollect yourself, Nicolas, said his Excellency the Inquisidor-general; was there nothing else you did, save smiting your beast?

I take Saint Nicolas de Tolentino to witness, replied he, that I know of no other crime, for which I can be responsible at this righteous tribunal, save smiting my unruly beast. Take notice, brethren, exclaimed the Inquisidor, this unholy wretch holds trampling over friars to be no crime.

Pardon me, holy father, replied Nicolas, I hold it for the worst of crimes, and therefore willingly surrender my refractory mule to be dealt with as you see fit; and if you impale her alive, it will be no more than she deserves.

Your wits are too nimble, Nicolas, cried the judge; have a care they do not run away with your discretion; recollect the blasphemies you uttered in the hearing of those pious people.

I humbly pray your Excellency, answered the prisoner, to recollect that anger is a short madness, and I hope allowances will be made by your holy council for words spoke in hast to a rebellious mule: the prophet Balaam was thrown off his guard by a simple ass, and what is an ass