Page:Love and Learn (1924).pdf/303

 looked like she stepped right out of somebody's nightmare, was a gayly caparisoned importation from either Latvia or the one next to it. Her English wasn't much better than ours and"

"I love that!" I butted in, "Speak for yourself—there ain't a thing the matter with my grammar!"

"Yeah?" sneers Hazel, "Well, see if you can find 'ain't' in the dictionary! Anyhow, when I opened the door that complexion was still in the cans on the dressing table, the skin they love to touch was covered with soot, my hair was in an uproar and you know how that old torn smock looks. I admit I was exactly assembled for a dinner party at the Ambassador. Well, this immigrant takes one long, lingering look at me, sticks up her nose and before I can proposition her she flounces out, remarking that she's not going to work for nobody that looked worse than she did herself!"

Oo la la! I can imagine how that crack ruined the highly self-satisfied Hazel!

"Well, don't cry," I says, "As Congress tells the Japanese, it's all in fun! Suppose we go down to one of the beaches and see if we can foil this heat. It must be all of a hundred and eighty in the shade, really!"

"We'll never have any decent weather as long as the forecaster's job is a political appointment!" says Hazel, "But that beach idea of yours is the elephant's brassiere. Let's go down and teach the fishes how to swim. Warm