Page:Love and Learn (1924).pdf/260

 lion can fule me!" I learned later that a handsome city chap had once sold his Worship a ten percent interest in the League of Nations for five thousand dollars!

Mr. Daft called Judge Bass a find and commandeered him into "My Wife's Husband" in his judicial role, paying him twenty fish a day. That didn't stop his Honor from bearing down heavy on Pete and Jerry when they were pinched for serenading me at three o'clock in the morning. These two masterpieces of imbecility had told me they sang wonderful harmony and I said I'd like to hear 'em sometime. This set of scofflaws got saturated with that two-fisted cider and that night they gave me the promised treat. The uncalled for open-air recital awoke the entire burg, including the constable, Mephistopheles Simpson, who took the choristers to the local hoosegow.

When they were brought before him, Judge Bass glared at the two trembling imported Broadway nightingales and ordered 'em to sing the song for him. Pete and Jerry smiled nervously cleared their throats and rendered the following operatic tidbit from "Carmen" in tones that rattled the window-panes:

With his fingers in his dumfounded ears, Judge Bass angrily called a halt and fined the boys ten dollars