Page:Love and Learn (1924).pdf/219

 dull boy, but what it makes Jacqueline is fearful, honestly!

I've always got a decided thrill out of entering the lists daily in this eternal tournament of sex, playing the game according to Hoyle and emerging with my reputation and sense of humor still intact. Really, that's a feat just difficult enough to fascinate me and I've done it since the first time I realized that it wasn't merely something stuck in their throats that made the boys catch their breath when they gazed at me!

"My future's all behind me!" says Jerry Murphy, mournfully to me one day. "I don't seem to be gettin' nowheres, what I mean! I only wish I had went to work and got married when I was a handsome young lad and the girls all maniacal over me. Why, they was at least eight wealthy and beautiful young heirlooms chasin' after me day and night, but"

"Heirlooms?" butts in Pete Kift, "Ha, ha, ha—that's one for the book! You mean heiresses, you big banana!"

"I'll call 'em what I like!" says Jerry indignantly. "Whose Janes was these? Anyways, as I was sayin', should I of got wed I'd of had a big family now and somethin' to live for, get me? I wish I had about a dozen kids and"

"Tomato sauce!" interrupts Pete, "On the sugar