Page:Love's trilogy.djvu/187

 11$th$

E does not wish me to come to him, at all events not at present. He dares not see me yet, he writes. He wants to be left alone. But he promises soon to send me a message.

20$th$

VERY morning when I wake up I think, 'To-day I shall have a letter.' But the days go by, heavy, long, and grey and they bring nothing from him. No greeting, no message, not the tiniest word. How can he be so cruel! He is treating me in a way which even he could hardly defend.

22$nd$

he disappeared from earth? Where does he hide himself, and what is he doing? In vain I look for him in the streets at the times and in the places where he usually goes. For hours I have stood, outside his house, but I never get a glimpse of him.

25$th$

OW I understand, he never means to see me again.

Time after time I have been on the staircase, but I did not dare to ring the bell. To-day I did, and the maid came out to say he was not at home. It was not true, I could read in her face that she had orders not to admit me. She seemed embarrassed and looked pitifully at me.