Page:Love's trilogy.djvu/182

 I lost myself in admiration of the shape of the everchanging clouds which looked so calm and unchanging on this quiet summer day, yet when one closely followed their slow gliding through space, one discovered that one moment they were shining gold-edged islands, the next large swooping birds, suddenly to dissolve themselves into crowds of tiny playing cloud children.

With one big glance I took in the entire picture, and I thought, 'Even should you never come here again, you will always remember what it looks like.'

I walked into the thickness of the forest. The same curious clearness followed me, the same reflective, receptive mood.

Until the sudden remembrance of his letter in my pocket stabbed my heart and made my soul shiver. My knees shook under me, and I had to lean against a tree to prevent myself from falling. I crushed the letter in my hand, and without reading it I saw every word before me.

It was really true—he had left me—it was all over.

I had said the same words before. They had followed me all the time, but not until this moment had they reached my heart, which they made writhe with pain.

Finished, not to see him any more!

What is he really like? I tried to recall his face, but it fled from me; I only saw two large dark eyes which calmly, wearily, and ironically smiled at me.

I cried to heaven in fear and despair. I implored