Page:Love's trilogy.djvu/174

 write again, and won't forget to say that I shall consider, for instance, an earthquake sufficient excuse for not coming.

7$th$

Letter placed in the diary:—

6$th$

ET me start this letter, which will cause you great sorrow, by assuring you, and I hope you will believe me, that when in my last letter I wrote about possible hindrances to my visit to Sorö, I did not know that I was going to write this letter.

'I wish you would believe, even if you are unable to understand, that this is something which has come without clear and conscious reflection, but as something inevitable, something strong and forcible which simply could not be otherwise. Though of course for a long time it has been smouldering in me, and has slowly and quietly worked its way. There were moments when I felt it, but I forced myself to believe that it meant nothing. Then again there were other moments when I confidently said to myself that it had only been foolish imaginings, a passing, meaningless dissatisfaction—everything is just as it was before.

'Until at last the truth sprang forth in my soul like an unquenchable flame. It is over. It must be over.

'Yes, Julie, the very hard and very sad thing