Page:Love's trilogy.djvu/152

 quite recklessly we finished up arm-in-arm watching the fireworks at Tivoli's.

30$th$

HERE have been days in which he seems rather tired and depressed. When I have said to him, that I thought he was tired of seeing so much of me, he has always answered that it was silly nonsense. He admitted there were days, when he felt nervous, without courage and without spirit, and that it was impolite (a word I simply hate) of him to let me feel it, but that my visits were only an encouragement and a pleasure to him. I must not be angry because he was not always able to control his bad moods, which were partly due to his unamiable character, partly to worries, in which I had no part.

I implored him to be more frank with me. I would only be too happy to share his sorrows, and surely he ought to know that there was not a thing in the world, I would not do if in any way I could help him.

But when I say such things, he takes me on his knee, pets me, and says that I really must not take his sulkiness so seriously. It does not mean anything after all, and it would be better for me to pretend not to notice it.

But now I know what worries him; it is money.

Yesterday, as well as to-day, I felt that he was very depressed and anxious. When I came yesterday, he said: 'Don't be angry if I ask you not to