Page:Lives of the apostles of Jesus Christ (1836).djvu/452

 stewardship, "bearing the bag, and what was put therein," and "buying those things that were necessary" for all the wants of the brotherhood of Jesus,—was a service of no small importance and merit, and certainly would deserve a consideration at the hands of his Master. Such a trust also, certainly implied a great confidence of Jesus in his honesty and discretion in money matters, and shows not only the blamelessness of his character in those particulars, but the peculiar turn of his genius, in being selected, out of the whole twelve, for this very responsible and somewhat troublesome function.

Yet the eyes of the Redeemer were by no means closed to the baser inclinations of this much-trusted disciple. He knew (for what did he not know?) how short was the step from the steady adherence to the practice of a particular virtue, to the most scandalous breach of honor in that same line of action,—how slight, and easy, and natural was the perversion of a truly mean soul, or even one of respectable and honorable purposes, from the honest pursuit of gain, to the absolute disregard of every circumstance but personal advantage, and safety from the punishment of crime,—a change insensibly resulting from the total absorption of the soul in one solitary object and aim; for in all such cases, the honesty is not the purpose; it is only an incidental principle, occasionally called in to regulate the modes and means of the grand acquisition;—but gain is the great end and essence of such a life, and the forgetfulness of every other motive, when occasion suggests, is neither unnatural nor surprising. With all this and vastly more knowledge, Jesus was well able to discriminate the different states of mind in which the course of his discipleship found this calculating follower. He doubtless traced from day to day, and from week to week, and from month to month, as well as from year to year of his weary pilgrimage, the changes of zeal, resolution and hope, into distaste and despair, as the day of anticipated reward for these sacrifices seemed farther and farther removed, by the progress of events. The knowledge too, of the manner in which these depraved propensities would at last develope themselves, is distinctly expressed in the remark which he made in reply to Peter's declaration of the fidelity and devotion of himself and his fellow disciples, just after the miracle of feeding the five thousand by the lake, when some renounced the service of Christ, disgusted with the revelations which he there made to them of the spiritual nature of his kingdom, and its rewards, and of the difficult