Page:Littell's Living Age - Volume 126.djvu/251

 by this time advanced a long distance to the front. The centre companies had been brought to a halt by coming up against each other, and now stood face to face, the rear division meantime gazing backward into space, from which position our subaltern could witness the merriment of the spectators. The formation of the regiment in fact now resembled the capital letter I, but with the head and tail separated by a long interval from the body. Never had the Mustaphabad parade-ground witnessed such a spectacle.

Although not without a fellow-feeling for the service from which he had risen, this was yet a proud moment for Brigadier Polwheedle. The inspection of the hussars or the horse-artillery was a thing to be done gently, and even deferentially, the brigadier indeed never feeling quite sure on such occasions that Colonel Tartar was not laughing at him the while, and executing manœuvres for his edification not laid down in the queen's regulations; but here he was master of the position, and felt every inch a brigadier. "Take your regiment home, sir," he called out in a loud voice to the miserable Dumble — "that is, if you know how to — and let me see it again as soon as it is fit to be inspected;" and so saying, he turned the grey cob round and rode majestically home.

Whether Major Dumble would have been equal to the feat of taking the regiment home was never proved, for the extrication of it from its melancholy position was effected by the adjutant, the unhappy commandant sitting silent on his horse while the latter gave the needful orders. The operation completed. Major Passey, making the slightest possible salute with his sword to his commanding officer, said, "Shall I march the regiment back to the lines, major?"

"Please do, Passey," replied poor Dumble, meekly; and so saying rode back alone to his own bungalow, whence he did not emerge for the rest of the day.

"Hang it," said Spragge, to a brother sub, after the regiment was broken off, as they mounted their ponies to ride home, "we must buy old Dumble out, sharp, I can't stand being made a fool of in this way. How much do you think the old boy would take to go at once? I'm game to borrow my share; I'm so deep in the banks already that a trifle more won't make much difference."

"No good trying, my dear fellow," replied the other; "the poor old major is in the banks himself: he can't retire with a wife and family at home to provide for. No, no; we have got him fast for another six years at least, till he get the line step, and perhaps even longer."

"A jolly look-out for us," rejoined Spragge; "well, I must positively take to passing in the language and getting a staff-appointment. I'm blessed if I can stand this any longer. I wish I were a dab at languages and things like Yorke; but I'll set to work at the black classics this very day. "And Jerry kept his word so far as to spend the whole of that morning spelling out the first chapter of the Baital Pachisi, with the help of the regimental moonshee, but unfortunately his resolution did not carry him beyond the first day.

Major Dumble's fiasco was naturally the subject of conversation in more circles than one that morning. "Serves him right for an old stupid,"said Mrs. Polwheedle to Captain Buxey, whose buggy was drawn up next to that lady's carriage. "I told the brigadier the first day Dumble came to the station that I was sure he wasn't any good. The government ought to get rid of such fellows. If he were in a queen's regiment now, he'd have to go on half-pay; and serve him right, wouldn't it, colonel?" added the lady in a louder voice to Colonel Tartar, who was riding slowly past.

"Serve whom right, Mrs. Polwheedle?" replied the colonel, stopping his horse, but without coming nearer to the carriage.

"Why, Major Dumble, to be sure. I was just saying to Captain Buxey that such exposés would never be allowed in the queen's service, would they?"

"A little hard, though, on the regiment and the officers, isn't it?" said Tartar, dryly; "but beauty sometimes goes with a hard heart."

"Flatterer!" replied the lady, with a complacent smile on her comely face.

"There's such a thing as a service feeling, too," observed Captain Buxey after the colonel had passed on. "I don't like to see company's officers made fools of in public."

"Oh, as to that," said Mrs. Polwheedle, "I don't regard Polwheedle in the same light as a regular company's officer, now that he commands a station with troops of all kinds; besides, you know, I was brought up to think of the queen's regulations before everything. In Captain Jones's regiment we used never to call on the ladies of company's officers.