Page:Literary studies by Joseph Jacobs.djvu/173

 enters into each phase of the fever. Incidentally it contains a piece of self-portraiture, which is perhaps, taking all things together, the most striking thing in these volumes:—

'Indeed, this is how I look on myself; very much (as the illustration goes) as a pane of glass, which transmits heat, being cold itself. I have a vivid perception of the consequences of certain admitted principles, have a considerable intellectual capacity of drawing them out, have the refinement to admire them, and a rhetorical or histrionic power to represent them; and, having no great (i.e. no vivid) love of this world, whether riches, honours, or anything else, and some firmness and natural dignity of character, take the profession of them upon me, as I might sing a tune which I liked—loving the Truth, but not possessing it, for I believe myself at heart to be nearly hollow, i.e. with little love, little self-denial. I believe I have some faith, that is all; and, as to my sins, they need my possessing no little amount of faith to set against them and gain their remission. By-the-bye, this statement will account for it, how I can preach the Truth without thinking much of myself.'

It must be remembered that this was written in a moment of self-depreciation, sincere enough, but rather tending to exaggerate demerits and failings. But external evidence