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Oh, rapture! Miss Bodkin, some new hats are coming! I'll try them on, and you can help me choose. Oh, isn't it gay? Don't you just adore hats?

Excuse my flying around like a flea with St. Vitus's dance, but I’m simply crazy over hats! They're a lottery, though. You get one Good gracious! I forgot my hair was all wet. Do help me dry it! Fan it, won't you? Wait! I'll stick my head out of the window ! Oh, it's begun to rain! I wish I had an electric drier, but they're not much good. Do you suppose the vacuum cleaner would help any? What shall I do? If I spoil the hats

Oh, here are the hats! Bring them

EFFICIENCY

of them sitting out on the curbstone now, each with a pistol at his temple, waiting for my answer. Well, some day I'll be—For a Good Boy. Oh, how about this draped hat? It is a dream, but it requires a certain set ting, doesn't it? I'll have to concen trate on this—go into the silence, you know. Mrs. Maudleyn told me how; she's such an uplifter, you know— she never thinks anything that isn't new. My gracious! If Fidums hasn't played medicine ball with that taupe malines hat! He's torn it to bits! Oh, can't you fix it up? Never mind my dresses—do fix that hat! There's the telephone again!

all in, Jane—all the boxes. Oh, Miss

Oh, hay-o, Totty! No, darling, I can't possibly see you now. I'm

Bodkin, do look at this one!

Isn’t

—I'm taking massage, and I need

it a fright, with that stiff, ugly

quiet. So sorry. Yes, dear. Good by.

feather?

Looks as if it were meant

for a suffragette. Oh, no, I'm not going to be a suf fragette! I'd rather get married. Now look at this one. It's just cov ered with aigrettes. I won’t wear those! Think of the poor dumb ani mals they have to shoot to get them! Oh, I'm very particular about such things—I won’t even wear shot silk

on my hats. I'm awfully fond of animals. Our society is going to see about providing muzzles for wolves,

You see, if she saw these hats,

she'd want the very one I want, so I simply couldn't let her come over here. Yes, I do want you to fix that for Bridge—you can do it without

trying it on me again. Just let out the seams and things and renovate the sleeves a little; and if the skirt could be made a little scanter—Yes, it does look narrow now, but—oh,

well, you know what skirts are.

so they won't eat things that disagree Yes, that's so, I do have to sit down with them—at least, I think that's it.

Now, this red hat is a cracker-jack! Corking class to it, isn’t there? I got that phrase from my friend, Mr. Dow, but I'm afraid it's slang. I can't wear red, though; you see, my fatal gift is so blonde. Now I'll try on this black hat. It seems to have all the feathers in the

world on it! But it requires a pretty face to wear this. Oh, Miss Bodkin, do you think so? Well, in a half

light I'm not so bad. Oh, yes, the men say so; but you know what men

are! Why, there's a perfect horde

at Bridge. Well, leave it as it is, then. But how about cutting out the collar? That would give it an air. Oh, fix it any way you like. I’ve so much to do, I can’t decide these things for you. Really, Miss Bod kin, you ought to try to rely on your own judgment more. You see, I have to study my ques tion for the domestic science class

to-morrow.

It's the most fun; we

learn how to do all those ridiculous

things they tell you about in the woman's papers, and we learn to save motion, and purify politics, and